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2011-09-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

-= THIS SITE WAS HACKED BY CYBERFALCONZ ~ My Cyb3r 4rmy =-

Flashback

2010-12-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago.

This was our pet project.

Cooped up in Brighton Grove, Newcastle.

We worked on the layout, the concept, the name.

I've abandoned this for too long.

Hopefully this will serve its purpose when it was created.

To update one another.

Here's to a new chapter.

#11 On the way back

2010-10-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

On our way back to KK from Tanjung Simpang Mengayau we stopped by at two interesting places. First stop was the Rungus longhouse.

Admission fee was just RM2 for student. Real cheap.

The house was so interesting I would say.

Going in.

Surprisingly it was really cool in the house since as you can see the weather outside was just cruel.Very relaxing. Felt like falling asleep right there.

You could stay there overnight if you want. I couldn't remember the price but it is quite cheap I think plus the package includes traditional meals. But can be good if suddenly we want to experience basic living, and must be good for bonding session with friends without blackberry, iphone and what not. Must be fun right?
This is how the room looks like. Interesting? No?

Looong house.

Look who's up there? lol

After the longhouse we drove for another 20 minutes and we reached Kampung Gombizau for raw honey tasting.

It's interesting how each village on the way to Kudat has their own sort of attraction or specialty I would say. It's definitely tourist friendly. There are several more attractions like gong making demonstration but we weren't able to stop at every village due to time.

But this one was real fun!

We had this net on to protect our faces from the bees.

But she didn't get one on. The bees must be so friendly with her. Basically we went with this guide and she brought her to an area where I saw several boxes looked like old-fashioned mail boxes. But apparently they were like artificial beehives.
There she pulled one wooden frame where the bees made their honeycomb and also where the honey is.

See the honeycomb. Beautiful!

Well, basically the lady offered us to take our pictures holding that frame. But I was a bit paranoid when it comes to bees. When I was about to hold it one bee got into my net. Can you imagine? I freaked out of course. Like my face my face! It's gonna sting me!

But the lady and everyone like shouted CALM DOWN! If not it's definitely gonna to sting you! Well, bees won't sting unless they're threatened and they can feel threaten if I like fan them away. Right.....
But I managed...and it went away. Can you imagine my face if....oh well. I tried to be brave and still I got a snap.

And she got us to try this pure honey. The taste was a bit different that usual honey I bought in Iceland but it was so good. I never tried honey fresh from the honeycomb before. Great experience!

You can also buy their honey if you really like it.

It was such an amazing day! Please go to Kudat and on your way stop over at these amazing places and support these local industries!

#10 Kudat

2010-10-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Since we rented the car for 2 days we decided to drive up to Kudat. We heard Kudat is so beautiful and from the internet I knew that we could see so many things as well on the way there. So why not. We set off really early since it's gonna take us about 3 hours to get there. Our main destination was Simpang Mengayau, the tip of Borneo Island.

Before we reached there we stopped over at Bandar Kudat, a very relaxed city, with such an amazing seafront to fill the petrol. AJ drove all the way this time since since it was quite a long distance and I wasn't that confident.

Well, we stopped at Petronas with this amazing view in front of us.

It was Zohor time so went to the town mosque for a while.

We continued our journey for about an hour, and we were extremely excited to be greeted with this view.

There you go, I've been to the tip of borneo y'all.

The view was absolutely breathtaking and dramatic like OMG we were speechless. We kept saying it's worth the driving almost every minute. Like we couldn't say much like just stop and stare and wonder.

It was seriously midday and ridiculously hot. But we couldn't care less. I was glad that I had a really loose shirt on me which was at least breezy.

Behind there, that's the tip of Borneo Island. You could see in the map there are two horns which made up Sabah. I was at the tip which is slightly longer, which is the tip of the island. The reason why it's called Simpang Mengayau is because the tip is the meeting point of the Sulu and South China Sea. So basically mengayau means 'lingering junction'.

I love the structure and the feeling of this particular rock. It was given this dramatic and amazing structure through wind erosion. It becomes like stairs so we can go down near the water.

Near the tip there is this undisturbed pristine beach which was absolutely beautiful. Too bad it was such a boiling hot day if not I would have jumped in the water.

There is no resort whatsoever and I'm glad that this bit of the country is not being too commercialised or over-developed. I'm so glad if it's going to be left just like it is now. I heard you can stay in basic cabins if you wanna stay overnight here but why not to just appreciate the beauty.

I would have wanted to stay longer but it's such a long way to get back to KK and we wanted to stop over several other places on our way back.

I would definitely come back. That's for sure. And in a less raging weather.

#9 Kinabalu Park

2010-10-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

That weekend we decided to rent a car for two days so that we could explore other places outside KK. It was awesome. Rental was pretty cheap and views on the way were breathtaking.

First stop: Kinabalu Park. It was about an hour and a half drive from KK. We arrived almost midday but it was slightly cooler than than the city.

Look at that!

Well, to make full use of what nature has to offer, and since we decided not to climb mount Kinabalu due to certain circumstances, we thought why not we followed this trail, and had a rough idea what climbing would be like. Although in slightly inappropriate shoes and attires. Why not.

It was just for 598 metres. Just. But we didn't know it was an ascending pathway. Kidding rite.
It was funny everyone was getting slower and slower not because we're enjoying the nature so much. Towards the end we couldn't even complete our sentences.

Our motivation was probably at the end we would see something incredible or a breathtaking scenery or something. We were all excited. But unfortunately we were just greeted by a dead end and just that signpost. Kidding rite? We had a good laugh on ourselves. Oh well. At least we knew that we made a WISE decision not to climb mount Kinabalu now so that we all can work on our fitness. lol.

After the amazing trail experience, we went to the botanical garden in the park. Why not just to tick the boxes.

Good thing was they had student discounts.

I snapped pictures like i'm doing agriculture.

Well, behind there should be the highest peak but that day was really cloudy so you can just see us.

After the park we drove for about another hour to Poring Hot Spring.

This place was so jam packed with families and groups of teenagers all bathing in several small pools filled with probably just lukewarm water that time. People couldn't go in the original source of hot water since it was really that hot. I felt it.

In Poring there's also canopy walkway which was as high as this tree.

Just for 3 Ringgit.

It was frightening since I thought I could drop my camera at any time. It was seriously damn high and swinging. It was quite a long walk but we did it and it was made more fun with a group of aunties from Kedah screamed and laughed their hearts out the entire time. We couldn't help but laughed with their laughings. lol.

It was already late afternoon so before we head back to KK we decided to drop by at the Sabah tea garden. Here's where Sabah tea is from and also the not so famous CTea is made from.

The view was quite nice but not as nice as Cameron of course.

On our way back, finally the cloud decided to break apart for a while and gave us a sneak peak of the tip of mount Kinabalu. Finally I could see it live!

I drove back to KK and was welcomed with a really heavy rain, dark road and flash floods. Quite nerve-wrecking for someone who's license is still barely passing the first year of 'P'. But we made it to our places safe and sound so was really a personal victory from my side. ;o)

#8 Kota Kinabalu

2010-10-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

After less than 2 weeks in KL, I half-heartedly flew to KK for my elective for 4 weeks. OMG, I was so not motivated but at least I thought I could explore new places and just assumed it was my long holidays.
I took airasia of course but the flight was delayed for almost 2 hours. Grrr... But I remembered while waiting at the airport I ate this amazing High 5 sausage bun. It was quite cheap but later I couldn't find it anywhere else.

After 2 hours I was in the flight, ate my pre-ordered 1901 hotdog, slept for a bit, and suddenly I was in KK. The airport was so small n mediocre since it was a terminal 2 and was meant for cheap airline. Go figure! But I didn't care I just want to get to my room. I took the cab to the St John's Lodge in bulatan Sembulan which was really near to Queen Elizabeth Hospital. This was home for the next 4 weeks. Sigh~
But otherwise, it was a pretty decent lodge, with all the basic facilities, en-suite so that's nice and very near to everything.

Look at that! Air-cond. I was happy.
This was the temporary room since the double single room wasn't ready. I stayed here overnight before my friend arrived tomorrow.

I went to the hospital that Monday (14 June 2010) just to show my face to the consultant. I met this consultant whom I thought quite flamboyant (Who would've worn a bow-tie to work in A&E?) He's very kind and I remembered we discussed about fashion n Paris more than anything medical related. Fun!
Well, my schedule for the attachment was fairly just to show my face n leave whenever I want. Haha. But even my consultant encouraged me to explore KK and that's exactly what I did for the next 4 weeks.
We didn't wait very long to explore KK. Although it was boiling hot during mid-day but I didn't care. I put on real loose top and baggy pants and started walking. I wouldn't have done that in KL for sure.

That was my department.

I had pisang goreng a lot in KK. Like obsessed! Pisang goreng there was ridiculously cheap. Like 10 for 1 Ringgit.

The ABC gotta be joking. Apparently KK is famous for its elaborated ABC. You can get everything for toppings even corn flakes.

Ordered this amazing milo ice-blended with more milo on top.

Well, as a start why not pop in the museum. Learnt about the hundreds of ethnic groups in Sabah. Interesting. And there's this huge whale skeleton. Random.

Rafflesia. Very Sabah.

That's the hospital. The building behind was not in use. The structure wasn't safe and it's collapsing. Hope it'll be refurbished since you know without that building they had to squeeze more beds in other wards. Totally uncomfortable for patients.

I was soaking. Went to the mosque to pray Asar. But just thought to rest suddenly there's this sign. Lol.

It rained so heavy after the prayer we were trapped. But otherwise, it was a good afternoon. Had a rough idea what KK was like. More entries on FOOD to follow.

#7 Pasar malam Melawati

2010-10-16T03:43:00.000-07:00

Our all time favourite place. Pasar malam Taman Melawati is a must whenever I'm in KL. A lot of the foods are brilliant, with so much to choose from. I always find something interesting to try on whenever I go there. Amanda especially has a lot of favourites in the pasar malam and I'm always forced to try. But so far it's the best weekly pasar malam to me.

Amanda and Zarra. Amanda's lips were blue due to some unspecified candy. Haha.

This one was particularly interesting. Never tried it before but I loved it!

We bought bbq and cheese flavour. It was soft and so tasty! Sedap gile! Try it!

Will never get bored of this pasar malam!

#6 Lepat pisang

2010-10-16T03:06:00.000-07:00

One of must eat savouries while in KL is for sure homemade lepat pisang. I love the one with kelapa inside KL style. I enjoyed watching (and helping of course) my mum making lepat.

1. Lenyek pisang ranum

2. Masukkan gula dan tepung

3. Tuang santan

4. Kacau

5. Letak kelapa. Sedap!

6. Lepas tu balut la.

7. Kukus!

Sorry but I forgot to take the picture of the lepat when it's ready. I was too busy eating. Just realised when none left. Ops! But it's just sedap!

#5 Best lopis ever

2010-10-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

My mum's lopis to me IS THE BEST LOPIS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I'm not kidding. Not sure you've tasted it before. Good lopis is all about the gula melaka. It'll be good if the gula is good. Not just my mum's gula is perfect but the pulut itself is so good. I hardly can eat the ones bought from outside. It's always the pulut looks like they've poured the entire bottle of green colouring, always the gula looks like it's made from just one tea spoon of gula melaka over a jug of water. Always not so pleasant looking. But homemade is just perfect!
You should try one day! Look at that!

Gaastronomical!

#4 Zarra Sophea

2010-10-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

Arghhh...Geram ok dgn budak ni. She's growing like a champion. I managed to quickly grabbed a gift for her before I went home. I've bought her dresses, bottle before and this time I wanted to buy shoes. Maybe not yet proper shoes she's barely walking but those are cute enough I thought.

While we were busy playing with her Jojie wanted some attention as well. Maybe he was just thirsty.
He just decided to have a sip straight from Zarra's cup. Nice!

#3 Asam Pedas Linda Onn

2010-10-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

You know home is always about food. Well not always but you know what I mean. Earlier summer days one of the lunches we decided to got to MAPS (My asam pedas shop?) in Tesco Ampang. Went there with akak, abang and my mum of course.

Well, dishes were decent, but not brilliant. Slightly higher on the price side. But otherwise oklaaaaa...biasa2 jeee.... Had more over the top food at home.

#2 Tok Om

2010-10-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

A day after I came back from Singapore I went to visit my grandmother (my dad's side). I was so happy to see her since last time I saw her probably before I came to the UK. So quite a long time. She's doing really well for her age, apart from her knee which she was so pleased for me to have a 'look' at.

Rindulah kat tok om!

Can't wait to see her again after I'm qualified so that I can at least provide the care for my family.

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kesihatan dan panjangkanlah umurku dan tok om semoga kita bertemu lagi. Amin~

#1 Singapore

2010-10-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

Singapore was quite blurry. What I knew was I had to run like mad with Faridah to the arrival since flight from Dubai was delayed, had to catch the flight in LCCT, got out with enough time but driver wasn't there, frantically called everyone, ran like mad at LCCT departure, literally screamed while running, was the last one to check in and suddenly I was in Singapore.

Didn't get the chance to really explore Singapore but from just Orchard, I was in awe. Universal Studio was great what else.

Finally got to see her. Last I saw her she was just 5 days. So unbelievably happy!

Back

2010-10-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

Try to be back. Hope to serve it's initial purpose.

Stupid

2010-03-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

I find this so disturbing and insulting at the same time.
How could a ripped-off, piece of washed t-shirt cost up to almost 800 pounds.
It's a complete insult over the world of luxury.
Who bought this must be just plain stupid.

Blog entry from My Many Bags.

BOF/BBF

2010-03-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Everything started when I saw Kim Bum's photo in Red Carpet Fashion Awards.

First time in my life I had a celebrity crush. Before this I don't even look up to a celebrity especially male ones. They're nice to hear or nice to see but I'm just alright with them not like obsess or anything. But there's probably something about Kim Bum. Don't let me even mention his clothes. Gosh. Korean stars r just phenomenal!

Than Zaril suggested for me to watch Korean series called Boys Over Flower or Boys Before Flower (whatever they call it). Apparently those series were unbelievably famous already. I didn't even realise! I had never seen any Korean series before so why not give it a go.

And they're pretty amazing I would say.

And now I'm really sure I NEED to go to Seoul!

I'm obsessed at the moment. Although I'm pretty sure it'll last...let say...2 weeks?

Oh well...but I'm still obsessed. Koreans r obsessable?
How could they be so perfect? ~~(I know it's plastic surgery)~~ I'm stressing out.
Even now I'm listening to their soundtracks.
Let's go to South Korea!

I cook and now we bake.

2010-03-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

I enjoy cooking so much. The interest came directly from my mum. I still remember I started helping her in the kitchen when I was a kid and I think the passion started from there. Although I'm still learning, I think now I could prepare some common dishes effortlessly without causing a storm in the kitchen.
I had great exposure of the art of cooking, thanks to my mum. However if saying my cooking experience into formal education, I think my major is more of main dishes. That's why lately I felt like exploring more into food; which is the art of baking. I like cakes so much, but I think making them is a bit messy. With the ingredients, measurements and everything I just couldn't handle them. So, difficult things if you do them together with friends they'd become easy breezy. I realised I needed support and reassurance that the cakes will turn out great. And plus I wouldn't be able to finish them all by myself. Therefore I forced Zamri, Helmi Razali and Helmi Mazanudin to join forces in making cakes.
And here's our journey from shopping till sugar-rushing.

The recipe: Best-Ever Brownies by Julia Child.

Shopping in Tesco.

When I took this photo one makcik maybe the manager looking very angry came to us and suddenly asked what we were doing. And we were like 'errr...why??' And she said arrogantly 'you're not allowed to take pictures unless you have permission bla di bla di bla.' We were like oh yeah sorry. That makcik boleh relax tak. You don't have to look that angry and you could always say it properly. And plus it's Tesco honey. Oh well, we won't let her ruin our baking mood. So off we went home.

With the help of others, I cooked dinner first. Schezuan chicken and stir-fried vegetables.

Zamri and Helmi working hard through the measurement bits of the recipes.

And Helmi making sure the mixing was perfect.

This is how the working station looked like after.

Dinner's ready!

Carrot cake mix. Mind the periuk. We don't have proper mixing bowl. Hehe.

After dinner I attempted making Julia Child's best-ever brownies. Now melting the butter and the cooking chocolate.

While preparing for the brownies, the carrot cake was ready. It turned out way better than we anticipated. Although there's some cracking but it's home-made!

Ready to bake!

We spread on lots of cream cheese and icing sugar glazing on the carrot cake, and sprinkled some cinnamon powder.

The carrot cake was phenomenal! Totally way beyond our expectations. It was fantastic! Considering it was the first time for all of us it turned out great!

We didn't eat the brownies until the next day. We ate them warm with Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice-cream. Heaven!

The baking lesson ended up a success. The brownies was quite buscuity around the edge but was still soft in the middle. We definitely will do the brownies again!
Such an amazing way to fill up our weekends!
But wait, hutang still kene bayar okayyy.. Zamri was the efficient treasurer for the baking weekend. $$.

More baking to come for sure.

Cycle

2010-03-12T18:44:00.000-08:00

We'll talk about something / someone in common .

He'll give his updates .

I'll give my updates .

Get back to something / someone in common .

And the cycle goes on and on until we get a bit tired ( something like 2 1/2 hours to 3 hours , hahaha)

BUT there are so many updates yet so little time.

2010-03-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

" Judge me for who i am ,

not what i am"

Calm down!

2010-02-24T07:21:00.000-08:00

I was doing my research in the computer cluster in Medical School when I saw this first year medical student was using the computer in front of me. I knew he's first year from the assignment sheet, it says Stage 1 Assignment 3. I did that assignment before when I was in first year. Such a painful assignment to be done.
He was doing his work so calmly, that I thought he needed to submit the assignment probably tomorrow. Usually medical students need to submit assignments to the undergraduate office before 3 pm. If you don't make it on time, any grades that you get will be marked down. That's why I usually submit my assignments couple of hours before or at one time I submitted it a day before.
It was 2.50 pm on a fine Wednesday afternoon, and suddenly a group of girls came to his computer to help him out. He was completely unsure about stuff, like what should he be printing out, which form to be included and stuff like that. He was still printing out his assignments. And when he's done there was an error of the layout so that he needed to print another copy. It was 2.53 pm.
He started to panic although I could hardly tell. Maybe he's a really calm person or he's just couldn't be bothered. If it was me, I would totally turn mad and shouting like a crazy person. One of the girls shouted calm down, it's gonna be ok. We have 7 minutes. 7 minutes? KIDDING RIGHT?
All of the girls helped him to compile his assignments together while he signed the form that he needed to submit to the office. At 3.58 pm they shouted go go go RUN! He made it at 2.59 pm.
OMG. I was gasping my breath for the whole 10 minutes. In my mind I told myself he's not gonna make it. He's not gonna make. But I was surprised he made it. It's true how we can be so efficient in such a desperate time. We would do things unthinkable to our mind. But from what I saw, there's completely no point to panic. If you calm down throughout any difficult or desperate times, for sure the end results will turn out way better than if you panic.
So the moral of the story...CALM DOWN!

What are you looking at?

2010-02-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

People, orang, mereka, orang di luar sana.

But seriously who are they?

I've been thinking about this matter for a while. Part of it came from my little thoughts but part of it always came from the cheesy cheap glossy gossip which I always get myself updated especially on hillariously laughable Malaysian celebrities. Apparently they always mention "orang di luar sana," "orang sibuk bercakap," but seriously people who are those people? Sometimes when it comes to big names like Siti or Siti (is there any other bigger names than Siti?) probably it would make sense but when it comes to celebrity with reputation of peanut-sized or profile of less than one face of an A4 sheet filled, it is just intriguing. Who the hell actually talk about them? Maybe there is people or orang di luar sana. Oh well. I'm confused.

But my point is we do actually care what other people (whoever they are) think about us. No matter how hard we try to deny the fact that we don't give a damn, or we just don't care but deep down inside we actually care. To be honest, I do care, maybe that's how I'm being brought up, to be able to carry myself properly in a socially acceptable way (again whatever it means).

These concerns undeniably have positive and negative aspects from them. What's positive that I can think of is that those imaginary rules ie rules on how you should behave yourself in a certain crowd, what you should wear, how you should look would make you well; behave. We couldn't deny there's always awkwardness and feeling out of place haunting us all the time but if we behave certain ways probably we can dampen them down.

But negative sides to it, if we excessively pay attention to those what-people-might-think nonsense we could ended up in trouble. We could be highly conscious of ourselves, awkward and constantly giving ourselves a hard time. We could possibly slip to the extreme end, ended up doing everything for other people instead of ourselves. And seriously, these people (whoever they are) could be that powerful.

We are in a world where we carry ourselves according to what other people might think of us. Obvious example is dressing or fashion. I'm saying this because it's related to me as well. Whatever I wear I can't escape from asking myself back again is it okay. Not for me but is it okay for the people out there. I don't even know who they are but I couldn't help to get their nods for whatever I've put on. And I just feel ok since maybe I've been brainwashed that it is a right thing to do. It's true I guess that I read somewhere that we are living in a world where we constantly feel like it's an obligation to please people whom we don't even know or we don't even like. I am not even going to mention about make-ups, expensive designer dresses, shoes, jewellery, designer bags, or what other "tools" to please the people.

Probably I am one of those "people" without realising it. So I guess it's just like a circle. You think of that about some other people, maybe some people over there are making up something about you.

But sometimes, when it gets too overwhelming, and you feel like people are staring, not looking, I guess it's probably right to do this

You wanna piece of me?

Say what you want about me

2010-02-23T12:37:00.000-08:00

I hate it when they say there's a clinic this afternoon, it's up to you whether you want to go or not. It's not like you are required to go but it would be really useful for you to go. And than suddenly you said you can decide between you who wants to go like we really need to go.

Seriously? I thought you said earlier that we are not required to go but suddenly you sounded like we really have to go to this clinic. At least ask not dictate!

I've set my mind that I want to go to this teaching this afternoon and suddenly there's clinic. Although you stated from the beginning it's optional but when I said I'm not interested then why you gave me this look and created an atmosphere like I couldn't care less. Oh please. Just hate me judge me say what you want about me. I'm not going. As it was an OPTION. So don't make it a big issue if I didn't want to go. My supervisor said it's fine so back off.

Stop & Stare

2010-02-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

For the past few days , I have been thinking about my future . Short-term and long-term.

I have few goals that I want and I need to achieve by the age of 30 .

My mum and some of my friends have been urging me to apply for jobs here , however i am procastinating so much and I am being so pessimistic about my chance of getting a job . Hearing about other people getting turned down by employers have been pretty discouraging . However , if I do not try I will end up with " What if...".

Another thing that I'm not sure of is why I want to work here . Is it because I really want to work here or just for the plain reason of getting away from my job that's waiting for me in Central Bank ? Is it because I am not ready . If this is the reason , then what makes me think that I'm ready for a job here ( if I get it ) .

Life's all fun and joy but there are times when you need to sit and think . What do you want ? What do I want ? What should I do to get what I want ? Sorting these things is not easy . Some drastic changes need to be made . As cliche as this may be ,

"Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum , melainkan kaum itu sendiri mengubah nasibnya"

Conclusion

2010-02-19T16:33:00.000-08:00

So today would be the last day of the so called food diary . I may not have jolted down everything that I have eaten and I am not going to write what I eat everyday . That's like boring plus , I did not eat much nor did I eat anything fancy .

However , from my analysis of my eating pattern . I tend to have one main meal . Be it dinner or lunch . Like on Tuesday I had Nasi lemak for brunch and for the rest of the day I didn't eat much .I would have the occasional snacks and have a quick meal for dinner like Stir Fry noodle .

At the end of the day when I think about what I've eaten , it's not much actually . So where does the problem lies ? I think it's due to my unhealthy lifestyle . Even though I don't eat much , I still don't move around much to burn those calories . I basically just sit at home , lie down , read books , do homework and sleep . Even the walk to the kitchen takes less than 1 minute , and my room is practically a box . Obviously those food go straight to the thighs!

Therefore , I have changed my route to school . I now take a bus to Liverpool Street and then I have to walk about 15-20 minutes to school and the same route coming back . It's not much but i've got to start somewhere . Maybe after this I can walk to the next bus stop to catch the bus instead of waiting at the stop in front of my house .

Owh

2010-02-18T14:54:00.001-08:00

Can we puhleeze just go to werq?

Taste

2010-02-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

You can't buy it.

It's just who you are .

Either you have it or you don't.

You can try to copy , but you'll fail.

2010-02-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

My mother herself, the main character in the story commented:

"You are great son! I don't think I can myself handle that kind of writing! You make me feel so proud of myself too..."

How this simple comment meant a world to me.

Is it me? or is it you? or anyone else?

2010-02-16T14:54:00.000-08:00

I went to the hospital quite early this morning at 8. I left the house at half past 7. It was really refreshing. How I love walking. Today was absolutely fine. I set up a new spirit, that I'm going to be a little bit positive and just try not to be bored easily. It works all right. Decided to be more responsible in my own learning I was actively approaching foundation doctors, registrars and consultants to tag along with them so that they could teach me something. I managed to probably arrange sessions for this week while my actual supervisor is away. But for today I ended up tagging along this one senior house officer. He was nice, quite chatty and pretty good in explaining stuff to me. It was okay in the morning. As we approaching midday my heart suddenly skipped with anxiety as I thought something bad was happening at that moment. My sensitive olfaction was detecting something rather unpleasant. As I am THAT particular when it comes to BO I couldn't help to think it could probably be me. That couldn't be true. Trust me I know it cannot be me! I was sure as hell it was from him. I was with him all the time and when he tried to reach something at a distant or slightly high up that's when I would turn dizzy myself. Trust me, it was not nice!
I wasn't really thinking about myself at that time since I knew he was such a great teacher and probably a great person and I could live with it for another 2 or 3 hours (although it's hard not to breathe) but I was just worried that the patients or the nurses or other colleagues would notice it. It must be humiliating for him. This kind of issue people would definitely talk behind you right? And it's a hell of a sensitive issue!
I know we've been talking about BO since we were like teenagers but I still couldn't believe that adults still have to have this kind of issue. In my case how could he possibly not notice himself? Oh well. Maybe we do have different sense of smell.
But maybe you're alright with that but please...people around you are suffocating.

Cumi Cumi

2010-02-15T16:11:00.001-08:00

1st Day of the food diary .

Sahur : Chilli Paratha

Dinner : hahahahahah

Liana found this offer , 2 for 1 at various Malaysian Restaurants . I was not gonna give it a pass! Haha..so after lecture , we went to Melati Restaurant . So there's 2 Melati , one in the heart of SoHo and another one near Piccadilly Circus . We went to the one near Piccaddilly . The place was rather dim and somewhat romantic . Though I'd stick to the place being not well lit.

Because of the offer , we ended up ordering more than what we'll usually order. We had starters , main course and we ordered Cumi Cumi Istimewa and Ayam Bumbu to share . The chicken was quite spicy but we all loved it! But my favourite was the Cumi Cumi ; squid with potato stuffed in the middle . The sauce that came with it was just delicious! Worth every penny ! For my main course , I had Char Kuey Teow which was also quite nice .

When I got back , I ate another chunk of my brownies . As I am typing this , my stomach is sooo full I think I am gonna go to sleep soooooooooooooooon! Hopefully I'll eat less tomorrow , though I am thinking of using the voucher to go to another restaurant.hahahaha.

Reading seriously

2010-02-15T14:28:00.000-08:00

I was reading a journal to get a little insight into the topic which I was given to present. Lately, every little act I do I couldn't help to actually reminisce anything related to what I'm doing at that time. Maybe later I'll explain. But this time while I was reading, I was highlighting at the same time which made me to remember what I always do or perhaps all of us used to do in school or in college - reading lots and lots and highlighting lots and lots and turning the whole page into a complete set of rainbow and memorising lots and lots. I couldn't believe how much memorising work I used to do back then. Probably I'm still doing it (I'm doing medicine what else should I be doing) but I could say the effort is not as great when striving for SPM or A-levels. I have to admit that I allocate more time for leisure which includes movies, series, music, or simply just do nothing. How much time had I probably wasted just like that.
Maybe I have got my study style that everything now seems to be effortless but sometimes it's hard to forgive myself whenever I'm unable to answer a question properly or I seem not to remember anything that I've encountered before. I always thought if I work a little bit harder I might be able to answer this and that and so forth.
Is my brain deteriorating? Or maybe it's just that I'm not using it properly so it prefers to deteriorate or I just couldn't be bothered. I need to be bothered.
Maybe however comfortable I am now, I just need to realise that I'm not there yet although I'm nearly there. I don't want to mess things up at this very crucial final year in my life. Maybe I'm exaggerating but undeniably, this degree means everything to me right now.
I just need to find the spark back to work hard enough up to a level where I won't feel worthless when I'm unable to answer a question just because I know I've done enough work.
But at the moment I'm not happy with the progress I'm making.

Uncomfortable

2010-02-14T20:02:00.000-08:00

About two weeks ago , I went on this 'detox' regime . I did this before and it worked . This time around , though it worked I am now always craving for something . It's like every two hours or so I feel like I have to eat something . An apple . A chunk of Chocolate Oreo Brownies . A couple of Rich Tea Biscuits . Some Noodle . See typing those out is already tiring me . And the list goes on and on and on . It may be small portions , but seriously you don't need to be a Maths genius that know that at the end of the day it accummulates to a HUGE portion .

I have never been like 'skinny' skinny . I've always been average and sometimes overweight ( this was waaaaaay in the past ) . Anyways , eating all those 'small' portions makes me feel rather uncomfortable . I guess it's only natural that when you eat more than you're accustomed to you feel rather uncomfortable . I really dislike it . Plus , I don't know if this is true ( and seriously , I still want to believe this even if 100 people tell me it's not true ) , but your stomach expands and contracts according to the amount you eat . Meaning , if you eat a lot everyday your stomach will actually become 'bigger' so you need to eat more before you feel full and vice versa . Okay , this really scares me . What if , all these small portions make my stomach 'bigger' and i'm not even in Malaysia . Am I gonna be size 32 ? SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

So , I have decided ( inspired by another blogger ) to have a food diary . Starting from 5 am today , I will document my food intake till Friday . What I hope to achieve from this diary is just to analyse my food intake and see where the problem lies . Maybe I can learn more about me . Who knows . Hopefully , by keeping a diary of my food intake I will be more aware of what goes into my mouth and hence keeping me in check .

I was once...A bad cook

2010-02-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

I had a long talk with my mother last Wednsesday and she confessed:

I was once...A bad cook.

If people who are close to my family and especially to my mother, they would totally by now picking up their jaw from the floor. Come on people, seriously close you mouth. It's not nice. Simply because all of us know how such an amazing cook she is, everything in her hands will turn into a sumptuous dish. It's just like magic. And I'm not bias here just because I'm her son. She doesn't just nourish us with all the food, but slowly teach us to develop a complex ability to distinguish good tastes in a simple plate. I heard this story quite a long time ago and I couldn't believe it myself either. But during the last phone call I just wanted to refresh the story in my head.
She grew up in a typical Malay family, totally unsure about herself whom one day will become an expert in cooking. From her, she said it was typical that the daughters usually help the mother in the kitchen. The day always started early for them as she said back then it wasn't anything like today with all the spices are ready for you to just mix them, they had to make everything from scratch. Like they had to crush the chilis until their hands would turn red and hot, and had to prepare the chicken right after it was slaughtered.
Back then she was far from an expert. One fine evening, my grandmother asked my mother to add a pinch of salt into a pot of mung bean porridge (bubur kacang hijau) to enhance the flavour of the coconut milk. And my mother, being naive and inexperience just added the salt and had a taste. There was still not enough she thought. She then added more and more and thought she's done a great job. By dessert time, my grandfather just simply commented "ni bubur ka? Ingat gulai tadi' (this is porridge? I thought it's curry). By all means, that porridge was meant for dessert and it should be sweet, but my mother just made it too salty just like curry. Right after the comment boy she cried so bad, thinking she was terrible in cooking when my grandfather just meant for a joke. (Although it was salty).
My mother went into a boarding school in 1972 for 6 years until 1977 and therefore she missed quite a considerable amount of time of learning in the kitchen with her mother. But she always helped whenever there were school holidays. But she said she picked up basic skills, and remembered a few recipes by simply watching my grandmother cooked.
With just well-above basic skills in the kitchen she then married my father in 22 April 1980. And this time, she never looked back into her just then satisfactory cooking skills. It wasn't cheap as a newly married couple to live in a big city, and eating in was the cheapest way in adjustment to their modest salaries at that time. But that moment of her life was proven to be the highest peak of her evolving into a brilliant artist in her own little kitchen. She taught herself recipes after recipes, she asked my grandmother about the basic traditional recipes, she read food labels for their ingredients and she's done all sorts of things to tirelessly put them together and produce a fine dining experience in our own world.
However, she couldn't escape from having to experience lowest point in her cooking. Like there was this one day, she felt like making 'karipap' (curry puff). She's done with the fillings which she herself thought it was delicious, she then wanted to make the dough. Although she vaguely remembered how to make it, she just went for it. She recalled that my grandmother used to pour in warm oil into the flour and mix them. She channelled all her energy into making the dough (it's hard work I tell you) without realising she actually needed to mix in butter and water together to make the dough soft. When the dough (with just oil and flour) was done, she made the karipap. When my father was back from work, she fried and served them proudly. Unfortunately, they couldn't even make the first bite, as they're all so hard. My father as the most non-judgemental husband on earth just commented 'keras ni tak boleh makan, takpalah' (it's hard, we couldn't eat them, it's ok) attempted to praise my mother for her effort. Again, my mother broke into tears, simply annoyed after so much work she had done although my father just didn't mind. She's just annoyed. Then all of the karipap went straight to the bin. But that didn't stop her there. She asked my grandmother again, she learned, made them over and over again and up till this point, all I can just say; she makes the best karipap in the world.
This story may be just a fraction of her wonderful life, but I learnt a lot. She gave us the sense of perseverance, to not just give up. She went through ups and downs, her bins used to be filled with food that didn't turn out well, but she never ever give up. And if we make a little effort just to ask people who know better, just to add on to what we have, the end-product would be nothing but great. She always says just learn, maybe natural talent plays a tiny bit, but when you learn and work hard, you'll soon be there. From her story, there's nothing else I could say but to just agree. She also just loves to cook. I think when you love something you will just go on doing them. Do what you love, love what you do!
From her hard-work it's obvious that she had gained success in our own standard. From someone who used to make salty dessert, she could now simply and humbly cater hundreds of people without even a slightest complaint from the people she served. And I am still learning from the best, hoping to slowly master her recipes and imitate her creation of fantastic gastronomic experience that is beyond imagination.
To me, although this is probably just a household success story but it means a whole world to us a a family. As with her, we don't just eat, she taught us all about quality and about tastes. She will not cook certain food if there are missing ingredients. In that sense I learnt that although perfection is not always possible but I should attempt to at least to be close to. And to her, there's no such thing as food to just eat, it's more than that.

Therefore she could tell us all now to no ashamed,
"I was once...A bad cook, but look what's on your table now."

Love you mama.

Bread Caramel Pudding

2010-02-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

100

2010-02-11T17:17:00.000-08:00

I've been photographed hundreds of times in this pair of shoes for the last 6 months. Maybe there's a sudden surge in frequency of my pictures being taken (I love my camera) or I couldn't say more how much I love this one pair of shoes. Say hey to my still surviving highly worn out shoes - my converse sneakers.

Back in August before I came back to the UK at the end of summer holidays, I was looking for an everyday, casual pair of shoes. Realising most of the shoes I bought (although not that many) are absolutely my treasure which mean I couldn't wear them that often, I realised I had no shoes to wear everyday. I need shoes which I don't even have to care about them being scratched, or them being stepped by other people. Shoes that I don't feel too much of a statement or perhaps I don't even have to feel like I'm wearing one. I need a 'I don't care' shoes.
It was my last outing with Zaril for the summer that we went to Pavilion for our berbuka as well. A day before, I got an advanced duit raya from my beloved grandmother (love you much Maktok). I got RM100. So I thought it's not worth changing into Pounds so why not I just find something that worth RM100. After we had out meal, I told Zaril what can I get for RM100 in Pavilion. I swear he laughed so hard. So off we went hunting for anything really worth the money. I thought I've had enough tops or enough everything that I can get for RM100. It was a dead-end.
But suddenly he told me you've always wanted a Converse why don't we go and see them? I was the one this time who doubted his idea. Of course, since I saw converse in UK starts from 35 Pounds and if my maths was right that's like more than RM100 for sure in KL. But there's no harm to just go and see right? So we went to the boutique (is it a boutique or simply shop). I just couldn't be bothered to ask for the price but he did. And apparently the basic range of converse which I've always wanted were only RM99! Are you kidding me? I took five pairs. How I wish. I bought one pair with that money.
And how glad I was and I am still glad to own this pair of shoes. If not because of my Maktok I wouldn't have thought to own one (how dramatic). I think in this case it's totally, 100% money well-spent. I'm going home this summer and I'm hoping to buy more in every colour. Here they are a bit expensive I tell you.

I'd never thought shoes in that price can be of that value. Another perfect example of price is not everything. And plus they go with almost anything. I've reached miles with these shoes and more miles to come. Love Converse.

Are we human? Or are we dancers?

2010-02-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

6 weeks of SSC in critical care are now the thing in the past. All behind me now. Although I still have poster presentation to do for my audit but at least I can do that in my own comfort time and comfort zone. So as usual, my supervisor had to sign off like an assessment form to say I've attended and I had certain level of interest and I was professional all the time whatever that means.
My supervisor is a super nice guy. He's friendly, not really fussy, understanding and very very cool. He told me from the first day I was fully in-charged of my timetable, I am an adult learner, so just manage my own learning. And he said I won't be expecting you to stay 9-5 everyday. Nice!
But however cool or however loose my supervisor was, I couldn't help from feeling a little bit terrified or intimated whenever I had sessions with him. I always have this kind of feelings when I'm the least confident medical student, I have the least medical knowledge and I just couldn't speak when I'm with certain people. Let say my consultant, in this case, he's super brilliant, as like he knows everything, and how dreadful to be around him and even worst, to be asked questions! Sometimes I was asked just simple, basic questions but thinking that he's my supervisor and he's going to assess me and circle my performance in that bloody green form, I always ended up over-think, over-conscious about my answer and suddenly I was mind-blocked. I couldn't really answer him properly, and I'd ramble on weird answers in layman terms. It's so humiliating. Especially when I was told to do certain skills in front of him I was like nervous all the time, suddenly I forgot how to insert a cannula properly. How hopeless I was. But when he's not around I did it perfectly, even got praised by the registrar, telling me it was perfect! Oh gosh.
Oh well, as we talked along about my performance for the last 6 weeks in the final hour, I totally expected everything he's going to say. He said my knowledge is still patchy (which I totally agree) especially on basic clinical knowledge, but in some areas my knowledge is excellent, well-advanced even more than the foundation doctors. I'm at both extreme ends. The assessment turned out well, way beyond my expectation.
However, I couldn't help to feel a little bit upset, as like I said, when my performance depended totally on what he saw, or what he thought, I just think he didn't see my full potential as a medical student or a future doctor. The assessment was just based on the time I spent with him which was just like once a week. And sometimes I'm sorry but the questions that he asked were a bit random!
But part of it is true that I still have gaps in my knowledge, but not being asked about what I do know is a little bit annoying. It's just a matter of right question with the right revised knowledge that I got at THAT time. The more I learn, the more I don't know, and to get asked about the don't knows is something. I guess that's the way you learn - by not knowing. But being asked question after question unfortunately revolved around that GAPS in my knowledge, will turn out to be not that decent in my performance sheet right? Agree?
It takes so many different aspects to be able to deliver when you are being put in the spotlight. Knowledge is definitely, whether you've came across anything similar before, the confidence, the ability not to be intimidated by anyone, the ability to control your voice to not be squeaky, and to just say the answer out loud. To put all of those together within limited period of time is just nerve-wrecking. People could just drop dead to be put in that so much pressure.
Looking back, I do know now that:
1. I do have insecurities (who doesn't). I do feel intimidated at times, but I just need to get over it quickly. I do care what people might think about me. I do feel the pressure not being able to answer a question properly.
2. I need to be really certain on my foundation knowledge especially in basic definition, causes, types, and management of common diseases. We're always being pushed to advance our knowledge, knowing complicated diseases, complicated treatments. But after all, common things are common. Knowing more without forgetting the basics is hard, but I just need to do it.
3. I am human. I don't know everything and the registrar, consultants, or whoever won't expect me to be able to answer everything. If not they won't know what to teach me anymore.
4. I still have time. Medicine is a life-long learning but I still need to pass finals to be qualified. I still have time before finals.

Maybe now I can forgive myself. Maybe a long gap not doing any clinical work is getting its toll on me. But slowly I'll get there. Just listen to Take That's Shine - 'stop being so hard on yourself, it's not good for your health.'

I'm doing plastics next week!

Eyes half-opened

2010-02-10T13:18:00.000-08:00

I just feel sleepy all day today. I need to work. Wish me all the best.

But I never thought...

2010-02-09T15:24:00.000-08:00

I slept dreamlessly and uninterruptedly last night. I don't think I'm a deep sleeper and always waking up in between sleeps to check the time, and turn around, adjust the duvet, adjust the pillow and what not. Therefore, I always wake up usually before my alarm goes.
I had to meet my consultant at 8.30 a.m. and put my alarm on at 7, and I needed to go out at 8.15 a.m. I always give quite sometime in the morning for me to wake up properly, stretch here and there, shower, do my morning regime, have a great breakfast (peanut butter and chocolate toasts remember?), update my twitter, and all that jazz. Just that I hate to rush.
But suddenly this morning I didn't wake up to my alarm. When I woke up I realised it's already bright and I was like OH NOOOOOOOOO. And the time.........7.59 a.m. Shoot me. Surprisingly, my mind was racing, tried to think what should I tell my consultant for coming in late and perhaps I could just go in like really late. Might as well, right? Just because I hate to rush, and I thought I'd never going to make it on time. But the good side of me gave me a huge slap to my face in an attempt to wake me up properly. What the hell was I thinking. Half a minute later off I went into the shower, lalilalila, dadidada, had my breakfast and what not and 15 minutes later, I was ready to go.

Although I got lost a little bit trying to find where the operating theatre was, but I made it almost on time, without a trace from my face that I was rushing, and my consultant was already there. Oh I made it! My hair might still be wet (oh it's short anyway) and I might not be waking up properly just yet but I made it! I never thought. I'm so proud of myself.
And then I got change, and ready to feel and put my 'I'm a medical student with the least amount of knowledge when my consultant asks me question' look.

It's Wednesday!

Melt together

2010-02-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

aaahhh...I'm melting

La Tasca

2010-02-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

For one of my housemate's birthday we went to La tasca. I've been there couple of times and it gets better with every visit. Oh well, maybe with 50% discount it gets EVEN BETTER.

Fresh-baked bread with salsa and olive oil dip.

Fish, calamari and tortilla tapas

Main dish - seafood paella

Paella was a bit too much in the end. I got two sizes bigger. It's not funny anymore.

Let's go to the changing room

2010-02-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

Oh-my-God. I'm just glad it's already Sunday and we're going into a new week. So that I can start fresh. I had no idea what's been going on but this week is all over the place. I'm shattered if I could say. Starting from having to wait until Friday for my important meeting, I was distracted I would say from the beginning of the week. However the meeting turned out fine and I'm free as a bird. Oh well. I didn't regret being worried since i'm a worrier and a control freak. It keeps me moving. Haha.
Later this week, my hair contributed to this week's fiasco which i've bitched in my previous entry. I hope I'll grow over it with my hair growing with time. Give me two months.
On Friday night I was seating in front of my laptop as usual, wasting time as usual, surfing the internet as usual, blog-hopping as usual and later I watched American Idol as usual. I always paused in the middle of watching anything, when I remembered to download something. And this time I needed to download Mr Hudson's new album. I'm obbsesed with the song supernova and out of a sudden I wanted the whole album. As usual I opened 4shared.com to download it. I found the file then I resumed my American Idol video. Suddenly out of the ordinary, my usual life, I was warned that there's a virus in the file I was trying to download. I was about to delete it when suddenly my laptop went blank. I was dead.

OH COME ON. NOT THIS TIME! I HAVE AUDIT TO DO AND I HAVE POSTERS TO DO. HOW SHOULD I WATCH VIDEOS LATER HOW SHOULD I USE INTERNET LATER, NO INTERNET = NO LIFE AND I CAN'T BE LIFELESS UNTIL SUMMER AND I'M GONNA DIE. PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear all of those were in my mind and as I watched my laptop went off in terror. Oh great. This is just perfect. I don't know what to do.
I went crazy carrying my laptop like a poor mum carrying her sick child to the clinic downstairs to my housemate's room. That's how hopeless I was. HELP ME!
The virus turned out to be really bad, it caused my laptop to be in constant restart mode (i'm not that technical so hey) and it won't go into the main window. My housemate attempted to get into basic windows but the virus was stronger than he thought. He thought he just needed to reinstall new windows. Luckily most of my files were in D drive so he could clear up C drive and put in new windows. Gosh..it was real bad.
Although I didn't mind for him to do anything to get my laptop back to life but I couldn't escape from being a little bit reluctant to change the whole thing. As a control freak as I am, I just like things the way they are. I like my shoes in the box like the first time I bought them, I'd keep my bags in the dust bag like the first time I got them, the plastic cover are still on my blackberry screen, and many other things, I just like to keep things the way they are so I can fell they are new all the time.
In this case, I couldn't stop thinking how if the windows are not suitable with my laptop, how if things go wrong and so many other how ifs. Sometimes change can turn into a disaster. But in the middle of my over-conscious brain interpreting the situation like there's no tomorrow, I agreed for him to do whatever that needed to be done. There you go. Just like that.
When it's done, it wasn't as bad as I thought. All of my songs, pictures and other stuff in D drive were still there. Just it felt lighter. Maybe this time change is good. Yeah...sometimes change is good. Thanks to the virus, now files that I meant to delete a while ago had been deleted, viruses or spams among my files had been cleared out. There's need to change afterall. When I put this picture as my wallpaper

It felt just like before. But I knew it's even better since now I can start afresh, but I can still bring forward what's best of it from the last time, losing what I never wanted from the first place. Maybe things have to happen after all so that then I realise at some point I just need to change to get better.

To a more happy week.

Grand Roasted Stuffed Chicken

2010-02-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight , to celebrate the end of my supposedly detox regime I cooked a whole chicken with glutinous rice stuffing . It was an ambitious project . I did make some alterations like I did not soak the glutinous rice and mushroom overnight . In my defence , I have tried to search for it in Asda but couldn't find it!

I followed the recipe as best as I could . Made sure the rice did not overcook on the stove or chicken burnt in the oven . Overall , I would rate it 6 out of 10 . The chicken turned out great ; juicy and tender . However , there was something missing in the rice . Still figuring that out . Nonetheless , I will be trying out more recipes in the future and will share the outcome in this blog . Have a great weekend y'all !

I was once...

2010-02-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

Say HEY to first "I-was-once-r"

Known as sha the cutest, funniest, craziest friend. She's my big brother's gurlfren so hey back-off! Haha. She says:

I was once...A Possessive Person

I need to know more story behind this. I'll write more. Maybe it's inspiring or maybe it's and out-the-window story but whatever it is it's a story. We learn this way better, like people in the pass they didn't have whatever we have now so they kill time by telling story. We'll learn a lot about friends, about family and about anything.

Sha were u possessive? really? because from twitter and blackberry you're like Possessed! Ops. No harm intended.

I was once...

2010-02-05T11:17:00.001-08:00

It's so funny (maybe for us) that zANDz always say i was once. I want to write something at least every week or every day maybe about i was once. It could be a good thing or something that we don't want to look back. Like today from me i'm gonna say:

I was once...A Fat Person.

Come on you can do better than I was once...a Showgirl.

Say it. Say it. Say it out loud. I say hey!

Please la

2010-02-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

I went to Friday prayer near uni just now. Guys and boys please laa. You know that you're going take wudhu' you have to bend down, when you pray you have to bend down. I think more material to cover your back won't hurt. Seeing butt-crack couple of times were nothing but nauseating. Please laa u don't want people to see that and talk about it like what i'm doing right now. It's disgusting. We should have more dignity boys. It's not cool okay to show your back to people like that. Not decent and way far away from classy.

So the moral of the story, enough clothes won't hurt. Especially to Friday prayers!

Kickstart my morning. My way.

2010-02-05T02:49:00.000-08:00

Morning is the best part of the day. You don't know what's life is up for you and what the day will turn you into at the end of the day. However dreadful I thought the day might be for example when I know i'm gonna sit for exams of anything later that day but I can at least feel the sense of hope at the start of the day.

Not just that, breakfast is the best thing that can happen in the morning. How I just love to have breakfast. Back at home I always force myself to get up early in the morning so that I can catch up breakfast with my mum. To me this is an important part of my life as during breakfast my mum and I always talk and share, and tell stories together. Sometimes during weekends my dad will usually join us and things can't get any better. It's nice to sit down and talk during breakfast as everyone is fresh, and relaxed and in KL, at midday we can always go mad as it's so hot, our brains r boiling.

Here in UK I always try not to miss my breakfast. Although I can't get the sumptuous, and mouth-watering lontong or roti canai or nasi lemak or ok stop it, for breakfast here, I still quite enjoy it. I'll have breakfast alone, or with other housemates, or with my friends who come over to my place. My friends they know how i'll shout at them to wake up in the morning to have breakfast with me. As I say in the morning everyone is rationale, and nice to talk to. Haha.

If i'm not so lazy i'll make something nice for breakfast like boil the sausages and make scramble eggs or something like that. But usually i'll settle with cereals or toasts. And of course a nice cup of coffee.

I think my way of making my toasts r quite special. Really? maybe. Oh who cares. I always spread the peanut butter and chocolate first, as if like making a sandwich and then i'll put them in the toaster. Normally people would put anything after the toast is ready rite? This way the chocolate and the peanut butter will melt when you eat while it's still hot and the bread is done just on the outside. So you still can enjoy the softness of the bread on the inside and the crunchiness of the toast outside. So u get the best of everything that two slices of bread can offer. Haha. I'm obsessed. I've been making this toasts since I was in second year, and now i'm in fourth year, it gets better and better. And my friends seem to enjoy it too! So i think it is that good.

It may sound nothing but to me this little bit of things will make my life a little less than perfect as a good kickstart in the morning will determine a good rest of the day. So i'll enjoy it while i can.

Force Of Nature

2010-02-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

I believe that some things in life just come naturally. You can't force it to happen . An obvious one would be love , but this applies to friendship as well .

Of late , I have encountered few events where I realise just that . The first time I encountered this I was rather puzzled . I felt quite embarassed of myself for trying so hard to create the connection . Till today , everytime I recall how excited I was in trying to forge the friendship I feel so ashamed . I still don't understand why the friendship never took off .

Recently , I had another encounter with this particular person . We went to watch a musical with a mutual friend and when he left for the gents it was such an awkward moment . We just couldn't hold a proper conversation . There's no chemistry .

Then it strikes me , there's nothing wrong with me and that maybe we're just not meant to be friends . That's why I keep reminding myself that never try too hard and if it's meant to happen it will.You'll never know when and where you'll meet new friends . Never in a million years would I have thought that I'll meet my BFF where we met!

It's snow time

2010-02-04T16:24:00.000-08:00

I quite like snow. Especially when it's snowing at night while enjoying a cup of earl grey. The next morning it's all white and pure and fresh like this:

That was the view from my room.

And that's me too shy to play snow fairy.

That was the first time this year Newcastle was covered in that white stuff. Then there was the second time, the third time and the fourth time which I couldn't be bothered to take pictures anymore. Up till this moment it's still snowing here, and I'm just tired cringing and tiptoeing all my way from the toilet into my bedroom since it's so cold. Owh well, some people might like it. But I don't think anyone will like when the temperature rises and the snows are all squishy and dirty and yucky.
Snow is nice temporarily. But snow or not I just still have to werq!

Spring! Come here fast!

I say HEY!

2010-02-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

We eat, we sing, we laugh, we ~~bitch~~, we laugh, we eat, we watch. We are the world.

A mere definition

2010-02-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

I've came a crossed so many definitions of love and friendship and other important subjects. People are sometimes I can say obsessed about defining things. We see so many birthday cards, gift cards, congratulations cards, books, key chains, gifts and so many other things with definitions. Like love, let's not even go there. Songs with true love is this, true friends r that bla di bla di bla. Same on twitter or facebook status!
Ok, to be honest some definitions r good and worth reading, but sometimes they just make me sick. Like the I just read, called The Zahir, it's full-packed with definitions and theories about this and that. I'm all philosopher now seriously. It's an amazing book anyway by the fact that the author approached big subjects in life in simplest way possible to be thought off.
I couldn't stop myself from taking this one out:
"Our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad supportive faces, when in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives." -Paulo Coellho in The Zahir.
We could agree or disagree with that statement. I'm not sure myself either. Or maybe this is just another one.

Just listen bitch.

2010-02-04T06:23:00.000-08:00

I woke up today suddenly I felt like cutting my hair. Not too much, I just wanted to get rid of the "curly bits" around my ears and my neck. I told Zaril that I thought of keeping my hair long and see how long I could stand it. But it's just until today. I don't like the idea of keeping it long any more. I had this imaginary image that I'll look seriously ugly by having long hair.
I got home from hospital, changed and off I went to cut my hair. I sat there, telling the guy I wanted a slight trim, just get rid of the bits around my ears and my neck and just cut slightly the rest of my hair. I said clearly couple of times just slightly OK like half an inch! He was like oh yeah ok ok. That's fine.
Good thing he used just the scissors instead of that annoying machine thing. At first he was ok with the sides although he cut like really fast. I was getting anxious, like shit shit he's gonna ruin my hair. When he was just about to start on the top I reminded him AGAIN just a little bit yeah! He was like yeah I know. When he started I almost cried. I was doomed!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't even stop him since he was like possessed, blindly cutting my hair like he was holding a revenge out of my hair! I practically died at that moment. I was so annoyed since I've told him over and over again not too short you asshole!
When it's done he was smiling like he's done a wonderful job! I was so annoyed and running out of swear words in my heart. Demyuh! I got even more angry when he showed me the mirror to see the back of my head, I told him you were not listening, I told you not too short! He was holding his scissors and comb at that time and stupidly attempted to cut my hair even more, as if I wasn't satisfied that my hair was not too short! He is CRAZY!!!!!!! I was angry that my hair is too short now and you thought I wanted it even shorter. How delusional are you! He even asked me are you OK? You want it shorter?? Asshole.
Luckily I managed to put myself together and not rolling on the floor or jumping around like crazy witch yelling at him. I thought it's been done and of course he couldn't do anything much at this point. It's not like they can offer me free natural hair extensions ala Tyra Banks or Beyonce! I'm getting out of here u asshole! I tell you he is one crazy person.
Oh well, now my hair is short. I was standing in front of my mirror for like half an hour to figure out what styling should I wear starting tomorrow. I know hair will grow it's not a big deal but hell I'm angry that he wasn't listening to me! He was busy talking with his friends while cutting my hair like a possessed bitch! That's more annoying.
Whatever it is I'm still gonna have to WERQ this hair. What else should I do? Just WERQ!

Whats the commonality?

2009-11-30T17:39:00.000-08:00

Yes. Obviously they are FAMOUS . And they were all leaving from Nobu . Yes , THE NOBU .

30/12/2009 :)

Sneeze.

2009-11-07T02:34:00.000-08:00

Hoi geng. I was sneezing cleaning up this blog. It's so dusty since we've left it aside for soooooo long.
It's time.

Pink Pink

2009-09-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

Now i know what i like about PINK.
Thomas Pink. OMG. If i can fill the whole wardrobe for officewear with Thomas Pink.

But i think now i really know what i like about PINK. Seriously.

It's PINK guava juice.

Now i know what my favourite juice is.

So nice!

2009-09-05T03:36:00.001-07:00

You deserve a big CONGRATS!

You're a 4th Year Medical Student

You're an UNCLE!

May things be even better for you in the future , insya-allah !

Malaysia satu

2009-08-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

I nominated this song titled Malaysia Satu (Audi Mok/Nur Fatima) as my first choice for Hot fm's Lagu 1Malaysia Kita. I like the inspiring melody and lyrics, plus Faizal Tahir's energetic voice which suited the ~~patriotic~~ themed song really really well. At first I thought the song Satu Malaysia (Aubrey Suwito/Siti Nurhaliza) should be at no.1 spot (can't deny strong sense of bias here?no?) but Malaysia Satu is even more powerful.

Malaysia Satu

Ku teguh berdiri tiada lagi ragu atau gentar
Ku terus berani melangkah maju terus ke hadapan

Satu impian nyawaku pertaruhkan

Genggaman tanganmu, semangatku oh terus membara

Janji ku pada mu, harapanmu ingin ku laksanakan

Kau adalah ilham pada mereka yang ingin berjaya
Kau terus berjuang demi membawa perubahan

Satu impian oh berjuta harapan

Genggaman tanganmu, semangatku oh terus membara

Janji ku pada mu, harapanmu ingin ku laksanakan

Satu Malaysia,
Kita inspirasi pada dunia

Nama kan dijulang, kita menjadi kebanggaan

Satu wawasan bersama bergandingan..

Genggaman tanganmu, semangatku oh terus membara

Janji ku pada mu, harapanmu ingin ku laksanakan

Genggaman tanganmu, semangatku oh terus membara

Janji ku pada mu, harapanmu ingin ku laksanakan

This is just my personal opinion, how about you?
Go to Hot FM to listen to all the songs and vote!

Flying

2009-08-22T00:21:00.000-07:00

I took airasia to London for the first time. I got the premium seat. It was not the worst experience i would say. Minus the entertainment and a whole tray loads of food i quite enjoyed my flight. Yet, i slept for the whole duration maybe the seat was too comfy.

Just look at how huge the legs room was. I could even outstretch my legs without touching the front seat.

Kot ye pon. I didn't wear that trainer. :0)

We arrived London at around 12 midnight and my next flight to Newcastle was at 7 a.m. Another 7 hours. Since all of the shops in the airport was already closed, we decided to sleep on the floor. Seriously? Yup. Everybody did that.

Since i've already slept for too long i couldn't possibly have another sleep. Then i went to have a cup of coffee instead.

OMG. Going back is tiring!!!
Plus, going back for just 5 days was just painful. No more after this. InshaAllah.

And now i'm fliying with good results. Alhamdulillah.

To everyone, selama berpuasa!

We're back!

2009-08-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

Another season . Another crazy ride .

Fun!Fun!Fun!

2009-08-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

12.15 a.m. Heritage.
We'll go again next time. Slightly later.

1Malaysia

2009-08-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday i followed my 8-months pregnant sister to hospital for her booking check-up. Baby was OK, now her head is down and hopefully to be engaged soon. And at the same time i tried to apply my still yet superficial knowledge in obstetrics in real life.

Then my sister, mama and me went to Mid Valley to have lunch. But before that we went to Jusco to browse some baby stuff. My mom, being friendly as she is always, was talking to 2 new friends who were standing next to her without realising they were Chinese and Indian. Then i captured this picture.

Woah! Semangat 1Malaysia!

2nd Round?

2009-08-04T13:24:00.000-07:00

Will there be a sequel ?

Will the NEEDS and WANTS be fulfilled ?

I am NERVOUS waiting for the answer!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE say YES!

Cry.

2009-07-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

I had a very bad moment in my entire life so far. Maybe more to come in the future who knows, but yesterday's was the most hurtful i've ever experienced. So much negative feelings rushing in at the same time.
But Allah is great. He has plans for me. This is the way He is trying to convey His messages and just up to me on how i'm going to interpret it.
I'm lucky to have another chance, and hopefully i can do better next time. Glad it happened this time, therefore i'll try to make sure it won't be happening again in the future.
I thought this as a wake up call. To what? That's what i'm still trying to figure out. Or in other words a big slap to my face.
The road is still long.

Thank you so much to:
My Mama and Abah and family
Zaril
AJ
Doreen
Syed Farid
Epull

For i still have shoulders to cry on and for advice that i will rely on. For the sayings that i'm still capable of doing what i'm doing and for holding me together when i'm shattered into pieces.
Wouldn't survive this without all of you.
For the better me.
Lessons learnt...

Al-Fatihah to Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

One extraordinary Malaysian film-maker, producer to numerous outstanding and heart-breaking commercials passed away at the age of 51.
Her heart-breaking, feel-good commercials have swept away our hearts making us aware about simple things in life that we used to take for granted. That's what i always feel until now whenever i watch her products.
The only one director from Malaysia, whom her films i wait impatiently, will watch several times to understand and to try and guess what her messages would be. I always stood up for her films whenever i talk with friends, discussing about the themes.

Rabun
Sepet
Gubra
Mukhsin

I've made plans to watch Talentime and Muallaf with the other Z this summer holiday. And i'm sure i'll watch those several times. Now i don't have anymore Malaysian Films that i can look up for. At least up till this moment. Who knows.
Millions of loves from her fans who adore her could not possibly outweigh Allah's love for her. Allah is Great.
And now she's gone. Innalillah.

Greenwich

2009-07-21T01:55:00.000-07:00

That's the meridien line . The official timeline . In a week's time I'll be very far from that line . It hasnt dawn on me yet , maybe because my family is still here . Anyways , hoping the transition will go on smoothly .

The dread is here.

2009-07-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

Geng.
I'm having exams.
I just wanna put my sunglasses on.

And not talking to anyone...

Wah!

On being healthy.

2009-07-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

'There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.' - Josh Billings (1818 - 85)

'After decades of research, we still do not know who should eat what, or when.' - OHCM

You're welcome. ;0)

You know the word.

2009-07-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

Geng.
I had one danish for lunch and another one for tea. Am i gonna be the-word-that-should-not-be-said ?

I just wanted to spend my last two pounds just now. My brain was racing on getting something nice to eat. Seriously? But then i got myself together and i went to a bookshop. That kedai is very nice i tell you. Every new book is two pounds. And i got one.

I felt happy. When you're in doubt, book is the best option. Then you won't feel bad. I'll read it after the exams.

Yours truly,

Florence

2009-07-08T23:50:00.001-07:00

Hey geng .

Just got back from Florence last night . It was really hot there , but it's all worth it . We basically just skimped through all the tourist spots and spend most of the time at the shopping spots . It's mainly due to the fact that the outlets are off the city . It took us an hour to get there , and the bus doesn't come that often , but hey , it's definitely worth it .

The prices are cheap compared to the retail price . A croc Gucci 85th anniversary bag has been reduced from 4000 Euro to 1000 Euro . Cheap heh ? No ? Hahaha.The place was filled with enthusiastic shoppers mainly from the East . Japanese , Chinese , Taiwanese . Some even brought out their calculators . Say whaaaaaaat ?!

Back to the city , it's generally a safe city . The city is not too busy even at peak hours . Since the city itself isn't that big , we just walked most of the time . Heck , even our hotel is just like 5 minutes away from the train / bus station . Make it 10 if you're carrying your luggage . Florence is a nice city , but you have to get out of the city to explore more .

p.s: I was in a rush that morning for my flight , forgot my lenses . Hence Z , no pictures of yours truly will be uploaded!

Out the window

2009-07-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Geng.
Aku tengah geram ni..Geerrraaammm. If Mira in La Dolce Amira, she would have replied "kenape gerraammm??" You know the expression. Demyuh!!
I went in for resource day today and after having listened to all painful lectures i was called by the education staff. I thought it was just to take my rotations forms and all but it was about something else. When i went into the room she said "this is regarding your attendance." I was like whattt?? You still remember i twittered you about i didn't go in last Friday because i was like soaking in the rain. I thought it wasn't going to do anything but they apparently turned the issue to be of big one. Come on lah. Diorang ni memang takde life right monitoring students all the time and yet try to find relevance behind my absence. I actually called in that day telling them i was soaking and all, and the whole team actually analysing the reason for me missing the session was unacceptable. How pathetic was that? They actually have time to go through all this. That lady who talked to me asked me how about when i'm qualified as a doctor and it was raining? It's not the strongest reason to miss a session. And yet if you were soaking we can provide you with a towel or a scrub. At this point i was like OMG. Mula la kan die ni melalut-lalut.
Aku cam nak je reply laa kan if i'm already qualified i would be able to afford a car my lovely lady and therefore i don't have to take that bloody metro and have to walk like one mile to get to hospital. So i won't get wet.This is mental.
The thing is that bloody session that i missed was just like one hour student presentation that i was just supoosed to sit in. I wasn't even presenting. ONE HOUR? Say whatttttt. And yet i even politely called to inform and be honest about my situation and i didn't get any credit for that. They just assumed i made an unauthorised absence and it's going to effect my professionalism. There you go. My 8 weeks of struggle to keep this professionalism thing had been thrown out the window. How cool is that.
She tried to sound saintly by saying it's not going to effect your whole professionalism of the year since you need like 3 times of unacceptable professionalism to not be able to progress. But still. The fact that i'm going to get unacceptable is still going to have an affect on me. ONE HOUR session? Sempat lagi die nak laser aku die kate just take this as a wake up call. My ~~lovely~~ lady, i'm already awake. Exams in like less than 2 weeks? She's not making things better, isn't she?
Oh well. I think it is a wake up call. Wake up to what i have no idea. I'm coming towards the end anyway. I'm sick of this professionalism thing anyway whatever it means. It's just a word to remind us that they are watching us all the time like a kid. I think my case would be a reminder to all students next year that no matter what it is, even though you're 80% wet and menitik-nitik lagi, and are going to be uncomfortable for the whole session, you have to come no matter what. Nice right?
In the end she even complimented me for being so polite and patience. Yeah rite. Takkan la aku nak mengamuk pulak kan. Then i'll be in big trouble.
I'm a good doctor. I'm a good doctor.
Oh well, i'm not going to think about this anyway. Now i'm fine. I need to do some revision.

I was on my way back after that madness and the first song came up from my ipod was F*ck You by Lily Allen. Sesuai sangat laa kan geng? And next song Selalu Mengalah by Seventeen. Even my ipod responded well on my feelings at that time. Haha.
And i was greeted by this cat. Legaa sikit kan.

And i went jogging. I went to my favourite track again geng. Lega lagi.

Enjoy your holidays in Italy with family geng. We'll talk in a bit. Ciao~

How much is much.

2009-07-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

We like buying.
What's the difference between buying and shopping i'm not sure either. Some people will always say they just came back from a massive shopping trip when in fact from what we saw in the pictures in Facebook or somewhere else they were just carrying one little plastic bag. Not even a paper bag. How?
Buying is always a staple for zANDz which comes after eating. Hey, we can eat always but good offers don't always come.
I'm quite annoyed at times when i bought something rather expensive other people would reflexively shout "gile pe, ni kalau makan sebulan pon tak habis. Tak gitu?"
Say whattttttt???
Different people like to buy different things like zANDz, we like shoes and anything worth the price. We buy a lot of stuff that other people would rather use the money to eat or buy something else. We would never say to people buy this and this so you can really see the value of your money and in a way we expect other people to be like that as well. Kadang-kadang gatal laa nak kate kan suke hati laa aku nak beli ape pon geng.
Owh well, i think the key in buying something to satisfy yourself is to know the value of something then when we get something we could really feel it. The glory, the joy...especially when the things we want are on sale.
I don't go for everything expensive, and cheap thrills could be fun sometimes and i quite like the surprise when cheap stuff turn to be of value way beyond their price. Like one H&M shoes. Agree Z in Slim?
I would buy high end now and again. I always say to myself one item like designer sunglasses would be enough and i'll end up wanting more. I think in buying there's no such thing like "lepas ni tak shopping dah" or "one designer jeans should be enough" after i bought something rather pricey. I know it is just a matter of saying, or i'll get respond like yelaa tu kaann?. If that's the case with you too then you'll maybe end up like this:

or like this:

That's not tooo much.
No?

Like the other Z would say it's too cheap that it's a crime not to buy. Then when will we stop?
When something is very nice on you, your mind will be racing in the changing room with thoughts like i don't have this colour yet or i'll wear this to Giant or simply i'll have more jeans or whatever. At the same time your brain will do the maths calculating your financial status and you'll come up with out of this world plans on how eventually you'll be able to get it. Oh no. It's madness.
Oh well, i'm not mad yet geng smeng. Not yet. I know the cut off points and where i have to stop or otherwise...

Who doesn't like buying?
Whatever it is, everything comes back to balance. Balance.

Things can be too much, can't they?

Till next time

2009-07-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

zANDzANDa

A micro reunion which involved a lot of talking, less sleeping, more eating, okay movies, fun ice-cream.

Very nice.

Now they're leaving,

I need to start revising,

Since exams are coming.
Not very long not very long.

I don't want anything more
Than to see your face when you open the door
You'll make me beans on toast and a nice cup of tea
And we'll get a Chinese and watch TV

Till we meet again.

Fruit Picking

2009-06-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

We saw our many friends went for fruit picking this summer season. Oh so very nice.
We took the chance to taste the fruits they picked.

They say fruit in the mouth will give fruit of the mind.

Singstar

2009-06-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

Who knew Singstar could bring out the superstar in you .

Singing Disney and ABBA hits at the top of our lungs was definitely fun!

We battled with Young Miley and MJ Junior .

They say kids say the darnest things , but they can definitely hit the notes !

I lost , but in the end , the other Z won the battle !

Say Hi to...

2009-06-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

Hi ain ;0)

Now everyONE can fly

2009-06-27T02:27:00.000-07:00

Come fly with me let's fly let's fly...

Round Round

2009-06-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

It doesnt matter where you are , but the company that you're with .

Sometimes when you think you're underdressed , think again .

Chunky Monkey

2009-06-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

When two spoons are in one Chunky Monkey they're friends.
True friends share the FAT.
No?

Gimme More

2009-06-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

Z in Slim: You are what you eat.
Z in Skinny: What you eat defines who you are.
zANDz: Eat much?

Break the Ice.

2009-06-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

HELLO ;0)

- zANDz-